Embracing Eclecticism: Navigating a Journey of Diverse Passions and Learning

Ever feel like you don't know what you feel like?

I have sank my teeth so deep into a subject that I thought, “Finally, THIS will be my niche – my life’s work, and it will never change! I’ve found it!” This has happened over, and over again, until finally I have had to come to the conclusion, recently, that I just cannot settle for just one THING. From bodybuilding, to fungus, to Buddhism, I have been around the world and back, so to speak, trying on such varied interests that I have dizzied myself trying to stay still. Why can’t I just be content with and find that ONE THING? I cannot be alone in this experience.

            I see how a sort of impressive success is gained from tenacious commitment toward just one skill or subject matter for others. It seems, though, that I just cannot settle for one skill or subject enough to disregard the pursuit of all others. I hear quotes about trying to find your best niche to contribute the most in this life, and/or to find your passion by remembering what sparked joy in you as a child. Well, after much journalling and self-reflection, I guess I am condemned to feel joy, be passionate about, and settle into a niche that includes virtually always changing in what I am fully interested and about what I want to learn – to learn all I can, fervently.

            How much I have invested, in time, money, and emotional energy into individual subjects or skills because I thought I had found MY THING really cannot be understated here. I have bought hundreds of dollars’ worth of equipment or related books as I was reading just the first few articles or first one book, or watching the first couple of videos on a subject. The feeling I get when I am just starting to learn a subject is intoxicating! I just love that new-beginnings-smell. Feel free to skip reading the entirety of the following list, but at least read a few to get an idea of how disparate the subjects or skills are into which I have dove headfirst and with both feet forward (picture that dive):

Chinese-Mandarin; Stoicism; Pantheism; Electricity and being an electrician; Objectivism; Libertarianism; Growing mushrooms at home; Dividend investing; Bruce Lee; Buddhism; Personal training; Human health; Exercising with nothing but tires; Project management; Geospatial (GIS); Python programming; Lucid dreaming; Small farming; Ancient texts; Chinese history and politics; Linguistics; Soil health; Leatherworking; Nasal breathing; Commercial real estate; Flipping properties, and I am sure more that I simply do not have the capacity to fit, in memory, among all the rest.

            Even now, as I am thinking of such diversity, my mind tends to want to find the top one to three that may be combined to narrow my focus into just one sort of niche. How silly but wonderful this thought experiment inspires the imagination to create a possible future in which, for example, I could learn and create content about investing in GIS companies that focus on mushroom farms in China. The reality of needing to pay my bills in the now sets in very quickly down any thought-path. The subject or skill about which I choose to learn must, I would think, relate to whatever career field I am in now, or in one that I can get a relevant job with the same pay as I receive now. On the subject of sunk costs, there is a feeling of guilt associated with putting down, in quitting, each topic or niche in which I have invested any amount of money, time, or emotion.

            Of all the advice I have read about what content to put out there, the best so far is to learn out loud, which is an idea made popular by Austin Kleon. Transparently presenting what you are currently learning about may provide a means and an end to narrowing down what you do and do not like to write about. This sort of whining about what should I write about? often smashes into the conclusion I have made about what is a truly valuable use of time and energy, though. After much thought, I have concluded that learning and improving how to grow one’s own food and shelter is what has the most fundamental value. Almost all actions humans take are fundamentally to ensure food and shelter for oneself and those for which one loves. Money is ultimately for food water and shelter, and it is sometimes accumulated in such great quantities or streams of revenue made that those are secure enough to be free to not have to trade time for money. In this light, thinking of what I want to write about seems childish and selfish, because I have not improved my ability to grow food and build shelter confidently.

            Yet, I must admit, I REALLY LIKE TO WRITE, and I have been blessed to be born into a life, and have been given the opportunity, through so many actions of others and my own, to possibly pursue such a hobby – dare I say a potential career. The adage “life is short” becomes clearer every year. On top of the abovementioned advice to pick a niche, I also, and increasingly, acknowledge the advice to desperately try to align one's true interests with how one accrues wealth as a formula for overall success. Now, we are back to exploring about what I should niche-down and write about. The seemingly cruel part is that if I run through the thought experiment that questions what I really would do, or write about passionately, if forced out of my job today, I have let working the day-job, and currently earning my college degree, suck almost all creative energy out of me. What am I passionate about? Answer: Honestly, I just want to nap for a week and hope I figure it out after that.

            Getting a week off is not financially possible, though, so I must get to the answer without resting. To this end, I have realized that a common theme in my life is mixing things. Common themes are a good place to start when trying to consider oneself critically. I usually mix all my savory foods together in a bowl to eat, and I like to mix a lot of dessert combinations, too. My major in college is interdisciplinary studies, which is a more proper way to classify a mixing of major subjects. My exposure and training in intelligence in the Marines varied from signals intelligence, to human intelligence, to geospatial intelligence. It is clear from the eclectic list of pursuits above that I enjoy dipping my toe into many subjects. I am currently a geospatial analyst, and student of English and web development while learning python programming sometimes, growing pink oyster mushrooms, raising goats, and trying to grow anything in the aluf sand soil (a term I know because I took a soil science class) that is our property’s ground. I type all of this while a box of over $100-worth of leather-working tools sits on my second desk nearby, which is another hobby in which I am interested. Do you see the trend here?

            This is as much as had to be written to logically work through what could be a very conflicted emotional status-quo of feeling lost – wayward. Does anyone else feel this way?

THE TEXT BELOW WAS ADDED 20 OCTOBER, 2023

It turns out that I am very much not alone. Are You a Scanner? By Barbara Sher